i'm seriously sick now..

Im at home now. Time: 4.19pm.

But i reached home about 3plus la, crap a little den settled down in front of my com. Was suppose to end school at 5 today. I skipped pharmacology lecture and head home insted. I am seriously sick now.. Feeling lerthargic the whole day, My nose just can't stop leaking( don't know how many pkts of tissues i've used) and cough is joining me!

*shag*~ totally, im tired. Just wanted to come home early and rest, hoping that i still can make it to school tmr.

I wanna complain about my time table. (thou its a lil too late now), sucky timetable i have. Long breaks in between with end school super late timings, and i start school at 8am some days which is = 6am must leave home. My zombie life is back. BBooohhhhooo.~ =X.. Im begining to skip lectures these days, argh! i'd better stop that and get my ass seated down!

wooh~ okay lovely. Im totally tired now, ZZZZzzzz..

wait, and i didnt know that meimei has a bloggy. hees. I'll link her up some other time.

It was the day where we ended school on the same time..
Went to chill.











I was trying to decorate my organizer then i found some long time prints. so i sticked them on instead. I think the prints are so cute.





Memories of long time.

Last Friday of the month..

Let me recap on the last 2 weeks..

i was suffering from hormone inbalance

wasn't myself.

I was damn f. stressed up( 2 f.BIG pimples popped out)

I thought i was a lesbian.

I really don't know who am i during that peroid. School started, lots of things went wrong. And some incident happened.. I thought i was lesbian! woooh, im cool now. My heart will still leap faster when i see good looking guys and i am so falling in love with their abs and tan skin (Botaks are so cute!), not forgetting the nicely veined arms and fingers. ( my favourite!)

sorry to sister yee who tolerated my hormonal inbalanced day and my f. stressed up days. Thanks!

And, i wanna tell some people that, you've got no right to comment on someone elses friend. I dont mix with fags and my best friend's not a fag, get it! phew.. im cool..

Anyway, i beginning to love my baby, or rather, my babies. Brought them downstairs to the grass patch to let them shit this evening.. hees. Its a form of exercise thou.

Once again, i love my life now. Im happy! really.

Words.

I know i've been blogging too much these few days.. but yeah, i just feel like typing. hahas.
I kinda like my new class now. Well, we got closer to each other better these days.. We're actually planning for a class outing but not confirm when la.
Maybe we should just go sentosa for tanning instead! =)).

Anyway, finally saw nadiah's ahem today. hees.
To nadiah: I approve! But i think he needs a lil hair cut. =))

I think im falling for botaks now! Like totally, all shaved head! I think it's so cute. But anyway, Its not that im choosy. But i just don wanna get myself heartbroken time after time.. It'll be so tiring. so girls.. stop pestering me to get a boyfriend. I will one day, if he's the one. =))

Thank you, thats all i wanna say.

Was over at Jas house's yestersday, well, we actually cooked dinner. haas. I went down to NTUC like auntie and bought the ingredients.. minced pork, vegetables, toufu. we had a great time. Right now, i really wanna thank all the people who stayed with me, who helped me, who loved me, who dumped me and all. because of everything you guys did, it made me learn..

To: Galvin.

Hey boy, U know.. so many things happened. And ya, most things changed. No matter is it family or your life or everything! I wanna thank you for staying with me, being with me and of course, me staying with you and being with you la. Hahas. We grew up together, played together and i still remember the barbie dolls that we dressed and the little cars that we pretended we're driving. I miss those days, really. Although now we each have our own probs to face and all, i really hope through out that all, u'll learn too.. and treasure everything u've got. I love you and thank you so much!

To: Jason

ok now, where should i put you?? Under bro or sis? hahas. You are both to me. sometimes i think we're a family but not a family and not a family but a family. Haas! We actually know each other for 5 years, counting this year which is 6 years. Thats a f. long time man! How many 6 years do we actually have in our life. Not many more actually. i know sometimes we can be f. pissed off with each other that i feel like pulling all your hair! But its also sometimes you know that things will get back to normal. and ya, rumours go on and on and on.. But we're sure where we stand in each other's life. I wanna thank you for being with me when i need someone, although u'r quite sian sometimes.. Friends are all about being tolerant with other ok. hees. I really treasure you and i like it when we gossip about good looking hunks and bitch about gorgeous babes, its like never ending topic. and if i go on typing this post will never end. I love you and thank you so much! and when ur my friend ur already special!

To: You.

I wanna thank you for dumping me and loving me. Well, i went through the heart break and i dont know if its already healed. But still thanks for letting me feel loved for once. really, feelings come and go. I dont know about the future, but for now.. Its not going to happen. We encountered many first times through that period.. and i appreciate everything u've done for me. I really do. i'm sure you can find someone who loves you more than i do. I still wanna let you know that u have a small special place in my heart, i wont forget you. Thank you, really.

Learning..

Learning not to regret.

Sometimes u just regret on some stuffs that you shouldn't do, but its too late too even regret on the things you shouldn't do. I felt guilty, dirty, awful, sucky.. its not all those that im willing to do or give in. But if im not going to pick myself up and live my life better, i'll stay like that all my life. i wanna change my life, Im not gonna waste my life away on things i shouldnt do or on people i shouldnt be with. I feel the need to start my life anew. i will change..

Learning to let it go.

-Sometimes you've got no other choice but to let go.
I shouldn't ask too much on somethings. chances come and go, i've got my chance and you've got yours. its time for us to let go. im learning to let you go, learning to let it go. Just put it down, everything will be better. Life will be better. =))

The Music Box.

I was looking through my stuffs the othe day and accidentally bumped into this cd. Mariah carey's 1993's album.
Listening to it just alighten you somehow.. I sat down and listen through it all, everything. I like it. Im sure you can find her songs on the net, now, take some time and listen to it. =))

My recommendations:
- Music Box
-Just to hold you once again
-All i've ever wanted

It's nice.








Mariah Carey Lyrics
All I've Ever Wanted Lyrics

Plain boring day.

Insights: My typical day when my bestfriend is sick.

To jason, please don't fall sick again.

Went to quite a few places today, well.. most places alone in fact.

1) Went to meet rach and jierou at their work place and i made sandwiches for them.


My lunch. Its some traditional carrot cake. Not those kopitiam's cai tao kui.


Its so obvious that why i borrowed this book. haas.


2) went shopping too. Bought a shirt, new nail polish colour and a nail polish remover.

3) Then, went to tiong barhu to meet cou galvin with his friend wan xin. for like 10 minutes.

4) finally, i arrived at ah ma house.

Hey kid,

i wish i could grow up quickly when i was a lil' girl.

But now, i wish i would never grow up. I wanted to be lil' girl again.

愛很簡單..

Having the courage to follow your heart, is what makes a man.. a man.

It takes alot more to love someone, it really does..

♥
忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你有一种感觉
忽然间发现自己
已深深爱上你 真的很简单
爱得地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法决择
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我喔......
i love you ♥
无法不爱你 baby 说你也爱我
i love you
永远不愿意baby 失去你

不可能更快乐
只要能在一起做什么都可以
虽然世界变个不停
用最真诚的心让爱变得简单
爱得地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法决择
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随那个疯狂的人是我喔......
i love you
我一直在这里 baby 一直在爱你♥
i love you
永远都不放弃这爱你的权利
如果你还有一些困惑
请贴着我的心倾听
听我说着爱你 yes i do
i love you
我一直在这里 baby 一直在爱你♥
i love you
永远都不放弃这爱你的权利♥

These few days..

Insights: Everything's changing.

School has changed, work has changed, everything seems to be changing, and even YOU.
I thought that something weird seems to be going on with you or us. Ummm, well.. im not on those sensitive topic. But, somehow or rather.. u seem to changed a lil'. I don't know why and GOD KNOW'S WHY it's like that.

Maybe, im over-sensitive or just being paranoid or maybe just thinking too much. Yeah, perhaps.

You're always there.

Insights: At least i still feel that there's someone or rather my precious baby, who still listens. im glad.









My precious Baby. I know u'll never leave me heartbroken. Love you so much!

AND YEAH, I REALLY MISS MY GIRLS. all my hearts! at least their doing fine.. and we're always fated to bump into one another. hees. Moments to cherish, with them.

我在想, 全世界最最笨的人是我!
有时觉得自己很可悲, 很傻..

maybe, i was just expecting too much, thinking too much. nothing else changes. nothing will change.. it'll all remain the same. It's nothing that i wanted. nothing..

Ramaging the old times.

Insights: All those letters.

i was actually looking through all those letters and photos while packing my stuff last night. and i read through every single letter i have in my letter box. Gina's, jasmine's, Gen's and i didn't realise that jason actually post me a birthday card, BY STAMP! hahas. Those were the days where everything just seem so innocent. To all, im actually still keeping those letters u wrote, i'll never throw them away. =))

I love reading those letters, esp Gen's. She wrote me a pretty long one.. haas. encouraging letter.

" and when it's time to let go, we've got no other choice but to do so." i finally understand the meaning to this line that she wrote. yeah, we've got no other choice.

Sometimes i just miss pouring all my feelings to the girls. They just make everything seem right. Well, there are some stuffs where bestfriends don't really understand, therefore, there are some stuffs that i have to keep. They went through all those times with me.. i guess u know that i was really sad thoses days. heh. Sometimes now, i don noe who to talk to. Not everyone understands me.. those who, are not beside me. I miss u guys, really really really really do. I mean it.

someday, i'll find someone who really understands me.

I remember the times we spent together

All those drives, we had a million questions

All about our lives And when we got to New York everything felt right I wish you were here with me,

Tonight

I remember the days we spent together,were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming

Except we always woke up, Never thought not having you here now

Would hurt so much

Tonight

I've fallen and I can't get up I need your loving hands to come and pick me up

And every night I miss youI can just look up

And know the stars are

Holding you, holding you, holding you Tonight

I remember the time you told meAbout when you were eight

And all those things you said that night

That just couldn't waitI remember the car you were last seen in

And the games we would playAll the times we spilled our coffees

And stayed out way too lateI remember the time you sat and told me About your Jesus, and how not to look back Even if no one believes us

When it hurts so bad, sometimes Not having you here I say

Tonight

I've fallen and I can't get up I need your loving hands to come and pick me up

And every night I miss youI can just look up

And know the stars are Holding you, holding you, holding you

Tonight

I say Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up

And every night I miss youI can just look upAnd know the stars are

Holding you, holding you, holding you

Tonight

You never gave me a chance to let me love you.

想告诉你,
我最爱的还是你.

Great!

Gina's in the same school as me.

oohhh, just how much i miss her, miss her accompany, miss talking to her, miss her nagging, miss her everything! hahas. Great Great Great!

We're so fated.

i love it!

i need a definite answer.

Had a conversation with gina today.

gina: " sure u'll have no regrets?"
Me: " i guess so."
gina:" U need to think."
Me: " think what?"
gina: "Think those things that u need to think."
Me: " hahas. i'll try"

I actually have the answer to her question. and ya, i need to think. Things were a lil' contradicting, but it'll settle some day. Or maybe in future.

The truth is, i will regret. But i just don't have the courage to do it. Maybe sometime later i will have. or maybe never..

~ i dont want anything to change. i like things this way. it's better.. =))

Best friends are golden smiles which never fades.

Insights: Different paths of roads never bring us apast.



I miss talking to her.
We gossip, talk about boys, fashion, makeup, food, shopping.. etc. Everything.
Life's so great to have besties around you. I love those kinda feelings..
Its like having pillows around you to hug on.
I love my pillows. They're great!

now pause for a sec. ( not some life- wasting quiz. its worthy a ponder upon.)
think abt this ... recently,
who has made you...

1. feel excited

2. feel appreciated

3. feel attracted to

4. feel intimidated

5. feel motivated (may it be for yourself or others' sake)

6. feel down or upset

7. feel angry and bursting red

8. feel like you wanna laugh at them

9. feel scared

10. feel insecured ( love/ego/goals/direction/decision/ whateva donkey)

11. feel loved

12. worried about for

13. wanna get closer to

14. wanna pour your woes to

15. wanna celebrate your joys with big feasts with

16. wanna take care of

17. wanna scream at and get away from him/her

18. feel like he/she can hold u firmly
( quote from roxanne's blog)

I think this list deserve's a lil time of your day to ponder upon. =))
Ponder on my people! who ever the person who pops in your mind, i think he/she does hold a significant part in your life. =))

Thoughts of so many days.

If life could be simplier. No complications, no frustrations. If so, life will have no emotions. I love feeling those emotions, no matter is it people feeling for you or you feeling for people. It's all that makes you see more in life. I don't think i could fall in love again. I can never make it or shall i say "it's dead!"































Above: scene pictures from japan plus myself.

Behind those smiles, there are endless tears that you can't see.
Behind those tears, there are endless feelings that you can't read.

Insights: Thinking too much these few days.

i swear i wasn't emo-ing, i just thought that maybe i need some time to think. But, i did think for a lil' too long that people start asking me am i sad. No, im not. im fine. =))

Life's too short to really care about what's really happening. We may miss out some stuffs here and there and we tend to miss out on certain people too, but life still has to go on.

I don't know what's got into me to type all these stuffs, but it's all what i've thought about these few days.

haas. maybe i've been left on the shelve for too long ready that moulds start growing on me. yeah. its the bf thing, Its the bf thing which haven't caught me for a long time!

you may like someone but don't end up together with them. You MAY NOT like someone, but you end up together with them. This is so wrong. Why can't 2 people just end up together feeling the same for each other? guess this is life. twirling and twirling and twirling before you end up with the right one. complicated stuffs: the affairs of the heart.